To the outside world, I have given up so much for this journey. The ability to wear “normal clothes,” a bra completely (because why bother?), the ability to leave my babies more than a few short hours, sleep, so many things….. But…
All in The Bond Project
To the outside world, I have given up so much for this journey. The ability to wear “normal clothes,” a bra completely (because why bother?), the ability to leave my babies more than a few short hours, sleep, so many things….. But…
My advice to mothers exclusively pumping is that it is hard and time consuming but it brings you just as close to your baby as breastfeeding does.
“My son was in the NICU the first day, so I didn’t get the chance for the ‘golden hour’ of spending time with just us. When I tried to latch him, it was very difficult and it left me feeling frustrated - I almost gave up.”
Becoming a mom has been a challenging and exciting experience and I’ve learned that not everything goes according to plan. My number one focus is his health and happiness and I’m much better at that when I am healthy and happy too!
At the beginning he was a good nurser now he loves it and wants to nurse all the time. It is probably the best feeling I have with him since his diagnosis and the fact the doctors are happy that I am nursing him helps a lot!
I love the bond that nursing creates between the baby and me. It's something I will always remember that is different from the bond anyone else shares with him.
I love that he holds my finger or onto my shirt when I nurse him. Or the infamous milk drunk sleep that he gets when he falls asleep after nursing.
Do what's best for you and your situation and don't let anyone tell you what you "should" be doing. If your baby is getting fed, getting the nutrients they need, that's all that matters. And be flexible and forgiving to yourself. Plans change, some days are easier than others, and things don't always go the way we imagine them going. It's all good momma, just keep going!
My how it was worth it. Despite feeling helpless because there was no actual way for me to get you to transfer milk (at first), feeling like I “wasn’t” breastfeeding because I was only pumping (lies!), wondering if it was time to call it quits and go to formula (absolutely nothing wrong with that).
I’ve had oversupply, forceful let down, engorgement and sore cracked nipples in the early days. I’ve navigated breastfeeding while baby is on oxygen, biting, recurring clogged ducts and mastitis. With my last two I’ve had mild DMER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex) which for me felt like extreme fullness/disgust for a minute prior to letdowns.
None of these things have discouraged me from continuing (stubborn, remember) and while it sounds like a lot of negative- for me the positive experience of breastfeeding FAR outshines the struggles. I love nursing!
I want to remember so many things about our breastfeeding journey, from the way she snuggles to fit in the crook of my body while we nurse to sleep, to the way she squishes her face into my boob when she is trying to have it just a little longer.
I have never had an issue with my supply or mastitis, my biggest struggle has been trying to figure out how to breastfeed my babies without suffocating them (as I have large breasts), also needing to cut dairy out for both of my boys has been super difficult. Also cutting out caffeine with my second has been tricky since I work nights and love my coffee.
Eventually I realized that this not only wasn't increasing my supply by much, but just wasn't working for our family. Since then we have had a much more relaxed approach and have found a system that works for us and keeps her growing and thriving. We are fortunate enough to have a recurring donor for supplement milk, and my supply has become sustainable through trial and error.
This time was a little harder to get started than with my son, since I was induced my milk wasn't quite in. So, I started out pumping as much as I could and using donor milk. It took some work, but she is now 18 months and we are still going strong.
My breastfeeding journey with my sweet LillyBug, just like our birth story, started much differently than my other stories. When she was born, it seemed as though she would latch ok. But then as bottles and syringes were given to her to help her blood sugars come up, it became apparent that we were going to have a hard time.
He is very intrigued when I am breastfeeding. I simply say that his brother is eating and drinking milk. We pull out the “special” activities while I am breastfeeding in order to keep him occupied. ie. Markers, Painting with Water, screen time, etc.
Most moms only talk about being touched out when their littles and still small – usually under 6 months – when they are cluster feeding. But the reality is that this feeling can come at any time for a myriad of reasons.
She crosses her a little ankles. She has to be holding onto a handful of my shirt. Sometimes when she is really sleepy, she’ll start making a humming noises until I start singing or humming back to her. And if I take too long to do that, she’ll slap my chest to make sure I’m paying attention.
The midwives at Planned Parenthood would tell me that the size of my breast didn’t matter, but I couldn’t help but still be nervous. Then, once she was born I had absolutely no problem producing, and my breasts grew so large that I was gifted this sun ray pattern.
Milk was spraying everywhere, my boobs felt like concrete and hurt like hell, and my baby felt like he was fighting me every time we nursed! Of course, now, in retrospect and with my experience and knowledge as a birth worker, I know all the little things I was doing that overcomplicated things and it could have been so much easier! But in the moment, it was really awful.
“After 3 babies, multiple lactation consultants, herbs, and meds I felt like I had finally achieved a huge dream. He's now 15 months old and It's still his favorite thing!”
