Learn Along the Way
The beginning
I knew I wanted to breastfeed before having my children. The health benefits are very convincing. I also prefer taking the natural route when possible. I’m a believer in many of the aspects of attachment parenting.
I’m also a stubborn person (or maybe determined is the more flattering word) so once I set my mind to it, I knew I’d overcome any obstacles. I was confident that my body could do it- it was made to.
I didn’t know how long I’d breastfeed in the beginning- I knew a year was recommended but went about two and a half years with each of my first two and plan to reach two years with my third as well. I’ve breastfed for a total of 6yrs so far!
The progression
I’ve definitely been more laid back as I go from my first to my third child. I’m more comfortable with letting things be and taking the path of least resistance (things like nursing on demand and following baby’s lead).
With my first I thought it was important to have her take an occasional bottle even though it wasn’t necessary, and I stressed about it when it wasn’t working. I thought she “should” sleep through the night or be night weaned by a certain age. I was more concerned about keeping a schedule and tracking things.
With subsequent kiddos I trusted them to know what they needed and only tuned into patterns/routines rather than schedules/specifics.
I also remember feeling shy about breastfeeding in public at the start but have zero qualms about nursing anywhere and everywhere these days!
Stay-at-home mom
Thankfully I have not needed to work outside the home. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom with all three. I feel lucky because this is what I have always wanted to do. Though I don’t believe being a stay-at-home mom is “easy” by any means, I do have great respect for those who continue to pump/nurse while working outside the home as that is an added challenge.
I have only ever hand pumped/ hand expressed for relief/comfort (and for a bit with babe #1 when I thought taking a bottle was a necessity). I think I’m in the minority in that I have never used an electric pump! None of my kids have ever had formula.
The hardest part
The hardest part about nursing is being the only one who can. This is a blessing and a curse. I love being the one with the magic “nursies,” but when I’m fed up or touched out it sure would be nice if my husband’s weren’t, in his words, “just for decoration.”
Since I’m a straight-from-the-tap nurser, it means that I’m never away from my nursling for long. Sometimes that’s tough, everyone needs a break, but especially in the beginning neither they nor I felt right when we’re apart.
Other Struggles
I’ve had oversupply, forceful let down, engorgement and sore cracked nipples in the early days. I’ve navigated breastfeeding while baby is on oxygen, biting, recurring clogged ducts and mastitis. With my last two I’ve had mild DMER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex) which for me felt like extreme fullness/disgust for a minute prior to letdowns.
None of these things have discouraged me from continuing (stubborn, remember) and while it sounds like a lot of negative- for me the positive experience of breastfeeding FAR outshines the struggles. I love nursing!
The good
“If there’s a problem, yo I’ll solve it!” Vanilla Ice summed it up for me. I love having this superpower. Nursing is so much more than food- it’s comfort and connection, love and safety, the ultimate distraction and boo-boo fixer. It’s even preventative medicine and illness protection. It’s the closest thing to a panacea that I know of!
My Support
My mom, my sister, my husband, and a couple great friends have been important in my breastfeeding journey.
My mom was a great role model- I watched her nurse my baby brother who was born when I was 16. She also breastfed me and my older sister and was vocal in her support of my choice to do so.
I also hit the jackpot as the sister of an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) and la leche league leader! She doesn’t live nearby but is always available to answer my questions.
My husband knew very little about breastfeeding before our children, but he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject these days! I appreciate that he trusts me when I feel adamant about parenting decisions.
It’s always helpful to have a friend who’s going through similar stages of motherhood with you at the same time. For me those friends are Julie and Kristen- both super moms and rockstar breastfeeders. I also recommend joining a Facebook breastfeeding support group! My favorites are The Chicago Breastfeeding Collective (We moved here from Chicago) and Badass breastfeeders of Denver/Colorado.
Simple joy
The one thing all three have done that absolutely melts my heart is the “Stop and smile”: When they are nursing and they stop to gaze into your eyes and grin.
My Advice
Words to live by, “Everything is a phase!” Both the good and the bad- When it comes to the tough times, I like to remember that “this too shall pass” but it’s important to remember that about all the other times too- baby’s don’t keep!
A shout out to all the moms surviving during this unprecedented pandemic parenting stuff. Moms do hard things.
Be part of the project
Miracle Kisses would love to have you as part of this project, sharing 31 stories of breastmilk in August. If you would like more information, please fill out the contact form to see if you and Miracle Kisses are a good fit.
