Celeste has always had a difficult time with nursing. With each of her babies she decides to try again and through different difficulties each time, she finds the best way for her to feed her beautiful babies.

She told me that her goals for breastfeeding have always been to continue trying until she could no longer stand the physical and emotional strain. In the end though she knows that the added stress of trying so hard is also not good for her or her baby.

“Things were different this third time around. This time my son had the most perfect latch. It felt right and I was confident it was going to work, but that quickly changed when he decided to reject my nipples.”

“He started to struggle real hard with having to work for his food and need his belly full faster. So then I was faced with the similar struggle of figuring out if I should exclusively pump or go with formula feeding from there on out.”

For the most part, she switched to exclusively pumping and giving him a bottle. But she does try to put him to her breast every so often.

“The thing I love most about nursing is the simple fact that I am providing this little human that I created inside me for 9 months; food! It’s like a continuous feeling of pregnancy to me, it sounds weird but I guess I feel more connected with my little. Even if I’m not putting him to breast to feed it still feels more intimate.”

“The biggest thing that helped with the struggle of him not wanting my breast was having my own breast pump! Then later on I got even more tech savvy and began using the Elvie pump which makes exclusively pumping a bit easier on me.”

“I’ll never forget the moments where I try to put him to my breast in hopes he’ll take it. There have been a few occasions so far where the feeling of him skin to skin makes me feel so calm and close with him. I’ll also remember feeding him from the bottle but also pumping his next meal while he eats. He also likes the sound of the pump and he slowly dozes off to the pumping sound.”

For the first 4 weeks up until this past week I have been only exclusively pumping. My supply started to really slow down these past couple weeks and I had to begin supplementing for him to get all his ounces in each feed.”

“I pump every 2-3 hours for 30-45 mins and I have only been getting 2 ounces or I’m lucky if I get three. I bought some lactation cookies and even some other supplements to try and increase my milk supply and I still feel I’m not getting enough out, but that hasn’t stopped me from continuing to pump.”

“My oldest daughter always questions the feeling when I pump. I always have a bad reaction when I begin pumping because let’s be honest it’s not the greatest feeling every time even with all the lanolin I put on my nipples. But I pump very freely around them and they know that’s how their brother gets his milk.”

“My advice to mothers exclusively pumping is that it is hard and time consuming but it brings you just as close to your baby as breastfeeding does.”

From the photographer:
As I am not a trained lactation consultant, I refrain from giving advice and happily refer clients who are looking for support to certified people who can help.

That said, if you are having issues similar to Celeste, I highly recommend working with an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). There are many places you can find one and a lot of the time, insurance will help cover the cost.

A couple (5) things to keep in mind:

1. While it is absolutely normal for there to be pain the first couple weeks of nursing, it should start to feel better. It can be extremely helpful to work with a professional early to see if there is something you can do to help their latch.

2. It can take several days for your milk to fully come in. Again this is absolutely normal and is not a cause for concern or supplementation. Remember newborn bellies are only about the size of a teaspoon. You do not need to be overflowing with milk to be more than enough for them.

3. New babies and babies in general go through times where they seem to nurse all the time and may not seem satisfied for more than 15-20 minutes at a time. This is also normal. It is called cluster feeding. It helps your body make more milk in the next few days. It often has nothing to do with how much milk you have right now. The more they take out of the breast now, it will signal your body to make more milk, faster, as they need it.

4. There are tons of supplements and things that are sold to us to help out supply. While they can be helpful, it is important to work with an IBCLC before taking anything, as some of the things used to help can actually hurt your supply in certain instances. The biggest thing you can do is to make sure you are well hydrated and are eating enough healthy calories.

5. Formula is not the enemy. There are many circumstances for supplementing and switching entirely. This is a personal decision for you and your family. In the end, you are still nourishing your baby. You are not a failure. You are still, more than likely, a great mother. You need to do what is best for you and your family.

I love sharing all stories! From exclusively breastfeeding, to pumping, to donor milk, to formula and every combination there is. If you would like your story documented for yourself or to share on the blog for other mamas to feel connected to, please reach out here.