Perseverance in Breastfeeding
The power of perseverance, what a beautifully hard accomplishment. To breastfeed 1, 2 and even 3 babies. All different journeys, each holds a different story.
In March 2020 mere days before “Lock down”, we were blessed with the news we’d be expecting you. Little did I know that journey alone would be tough.
I did everything I could in that time frame to be even better prepared for this breastfeeding journey. I did more research, bought ALL the newest gadgets to help and prayed this journey would be the one that was a breeze.
The first 2 weeks weren’t without some assistance, but it felt like pure bliss! I was confident in my ability to nurse, and I trusted my body.
Two and a half weeks in we hit complications. Increased bilirubin for unknown (still unknown) reasons.
One night out of sheer exhaustion and desperation to make you happy I pumped, and daddy gave you a bottle. We didn’t know your bilirubin was up and I didn’t know you weren’t transferring milk.
What I did know was I had horrible engorgement, had to pump even after feeds and ultimately subconsciously started triple feeding (I’d done it before).
I called the lactation office ASAP out at our delivering hospital. We came in as soon as they had an opening... “failure to thrive” (would have been the diagnosis) had I not started triple feeding.
Hearing the lactation counselor say “you saved your baby’s life” was not a phrase I ever imagined hearing as a mom. I grappled with the exhaustion of “nursing”, pumping and bottles.
My how it was worth it. Despite feeling helpless because there was no actual way for me to get you to transfer milk (at first), feeling like I “wasn’t” breastfeeding because I was only pumping (lies!), wondering if it was time to call it quits and go to formula (absolutely nothing wrong with that).
Add to it I couldn’t pump enough milk because I’d get a headache with each let down and couldn’t handle pumping past the second let down.
I fought!
I fought for you to get the best I had to offer. We ended up adding formula supplementation and we went to lactation appointments weekly. As you started to get better, we started to get better together.
You started transferring more milk and gaining appropriately. By 3 months we were no longer triple feeding and by 6 we were exclusively breastfeeding! You’re 9 months old now, we’re 9 months strong on this journey with no end in sight. Despite all the complications we overcame!
My Advice
Do your own research and make the decisions best for you and your baby! Ignore social media and societal standards. If something is coming from a health care provider and doesn’t sound right question it. If someone or something doesn’t sit well with you find someone else and get another opinion.
Participate in the project
Not every story is easy or goes the way we had planned. Some we can push through and fight for and sometimes we decide it simply is more important to be happy and healthy. I want to share your story. However, it is going. You do not have exclusively breastfeed to participate and you don’t even have to use your own milk. Let me tell your story and I promise you will see; you are not alone in your experiences. Contact me and we can see if we are a good fit.
