Touched Out - In all it's Glory
It’s that time again, my little one is about 2 weeks old and wants to feed. All. The. Time. This is called cluster feeding. At this point they never seem to be satisfied for longer than a minute. Sure, a little exaggeration… or is it?
This is my second kiddo, so I knew all about this growth spurt and what is means for baby and me. But that does not mean I was ready for it. Let’s face it, I am exhausted from the constant to do list and life with a toddler and tiny baby. Being up even more throughout the night trying to feed a baby who is grumpy as soon as I pull my nipple from his mouth is not at all on that list I mentioned.
But it has to be right? So, I do it anyway. But that does not mean I have to like it – and neither do you. Cluster feeding is hard work.
Now that I am a couple days into this never-ending cycle my nerves are starting to feel shot. I am not getting what feels like any sleep, nothing is getting done, I could eat an entire cow and ask for more.
Surprisingly my daughter actually really seems to love her brother, but she still misses mommy. The mommy she knew before brother when she was the only one getting attention. So, every chance she gets we are hugging, playing tea party, singing and sitting on my lap. I love all this time with her, she is growing so fast and for now, she still wants her mommy, even if that means sharing me
Then my husband comes home. He wants love too. Hugs when he comes in the door and to tell me all about his day. He’s been great about giving me time to heal and get used to this new life with two children but he still wants to be close. I am the mother of his kids after all. Just to be close while we watch tv or make dinner.
But then the baby needs to eat again, and the toddler wants to read another book on your lap and the husband just wants a massage after his long day at work.
I am going to scream.
This is that time that I tried to forget about. That period where every little thing is just too much. My clothes touching my body physically hurt. I am touched out. I need a break. I need to just be me for 5 minutes and reclaim my body. For 5 minutes not be a mother and a wife and a person who wears clothes. I am touched out.
Don’t fret. This feeling does go away. There are a few things you can do to help it out, which you can read about soon. But ultimately it just takes time. Give yourself a little time and know you don’t have to go through it alone. Your spouse may not understand what you are talking about but if you can put it into words, they usually are willing to help as much as they can.