Touched Out – What it is and what to do
When you’re about to become a mom, you do all sorts of research on just about every possible thing you can think of. You ask all your friends and mothers that you know for advice and what to expect. Well, the truth is you never get all the details. So here is one of those details.
Touched out. Being touched out is a point many moms hit when they just cannot handle any more physical contact of any kind. Sometimes the slightest brush of your skin from even your own clothes will make your skin crawl. Read more about the feeling on this post.
Now, thankfully this does go away. But it is a real thing and you are not alone in feeling it.
See, as a mother, especially a nursing mother, it seems we are always holding or touching our children for one reason or another. And then in those small moments that our babies (all of them) are asleep or occupied, our significant other cannot hold themselves from loving on the woman that they love.
Well sometimes it is all too much. Sometimes the thought of this makes your skin crawl, your anxiety skyrocket and your heart pound. Breathe, you are not alone. You are touched out.
Here are a couple ways you can attempt to get through these moments.
1 Tell your loved ones
For some this comes natural but for a lot of moms, we tend to hide these kinds of emotions. Don’t. Tell your besties, and your mom and your significant other. This will help you feel better knowing you have put it into words, and they will likely want to help. Which leads me to number two.
2 Ask for help
Sometimes these moments last only a minute but other times they last days or weeks. In the instances where this feeling lasts a bit longer (like those cluster feeding weeks) ask for help. Ask a friend or family to take the kids for an hour or two and relax, practice a little self care and just be by yourself for a minute. Try to restrain from simply working on the never ending house to do list. It will still be there when you’re ready. These times alone will help more than you know.
3 Take a break
A lot of moms, like myself do not have help during the day or for longer stretches. Find ways to give yourself a break. This does not need to be long stretches at a time. Even 15 minutes behind a door, a shower by yourself, or sleeping in bed (or on the couch) alone. Little moments away can make a huge difference in the way you feel.
4 Pump if you need to
For me anyway, most of my touched out days are during cluster feeding madness. When baby never seems to be full or satisfied or off of you. While I still love my children very much, these times are HARD. Pull out the pump and let someone else feed them for a feeding or two. Even this small break will help you feel a little more human.
5 Give yourself a little grace
I know it is hard to feel like a good mother when you get angry that you need to pick them up again. But you are, in fact, still a good mother. You just need to take a moment for yourself.